I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
