no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
