i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
