I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
