I hate all girls vehemently.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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