You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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