hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
