areolas are like halos for boobs.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
