I got chris browned last night
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize