See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
