The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize