nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
