Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
