those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
