there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
