Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Even the bartender felt bad for me
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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