Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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