Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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