I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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