I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
