Im at strip club and am horny
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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