Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
