There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
