When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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