you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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