Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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