There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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