I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize