Your face is a jimmy john
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Damn victory sex feels great
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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