why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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