the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
