I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
