..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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