sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
