Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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