He kissed a someone with a penis
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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