What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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