she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
