:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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