My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
