you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
