he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
well you can't waste a boner
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
