Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
