we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize