Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
