Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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