YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
