Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
