Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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