Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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