Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she told me i tasted like america
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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