He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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