'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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