help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
