Apparently you make a good broom.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
