no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
