He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
