Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Of course I have a pirate flag
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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