Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We just shotgunned beers for America
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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