i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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