it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
