is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize