drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
