Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
