I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
