and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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