your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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