then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
