And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
