why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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