I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
