what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
