Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
